Statistically only 1% of women choose to birth their babies at home. With my first 3 children I was part of the 99% that chose a hospital birth, but always brought my babies home feeling like my birth experience was somewhat taken away from me. Although my experiences did improve with each birth, I never had my ideal experience.
I was 20 years old when I gave birth to my son at a local hospital with a local OBGYN, from the very beginning of my pregnancy I knew I wanted an all natural childbirth and went to the hospital birth plan in hand, with every intention of a natural birth. My first disappointment came when I called my doctor as he had advised me to, (when my contractions were consistently less than 10 minutes apart for more than an hour, to see if it was time to head to the hospital), and I found out that my doctor was off that night and there was another doctor I had never met who was on call. She advised me to get myself to the hospital as I sounded as if I was in active labor. When they checked me at the hospital I was 3-4cm dilated, they admitted me and after a few hours with "little progression" (I was then ~5cm) they ruptured my membranes to "speed things along" my contractions became quite intense and I was in a great amount of pain. My nurse frequently offered me an epidural or some kid of pain medication even though I was adamant not to take anything. They checked me hourly and for the next 6 hours I only dilated to 6cm. Every hour or less I was offered something to help with the pain...I finally gave in and they gave me a dose of Stadol. Immediately I felt drunk and fell asleep, exhausted, between contractions. The contractions were still painful enough to wake me out of my drunken stupor, but as soon as the contraction ended I was out again. It only took 2 more hours for me to become fully dilated. The Stadol definitely relaxed me enough to allow my body to dilate; but had I not been refrained to the bed, and allowed to move about freely, maybe get into the tub (which they absolutely refused after your water had broken), or just been encouraged and guided to relax rather than encouraged drugs, my body would have done what it needed to as well. They called the doctor in at that time and she told me to push with the next contraction, I pushed one time, and waited for the next contraction at which time she proceeded to give me an episiotomy and my son quickly glided out with the second push. I remember being thrilled to have found out I had given birth to a beautiful baby boy, something I had been waiting 9 months to find out! He was 7lbs 6oz. But other than that, its all a bit fuzzy, my mind was still flooded with Stadol and I don't remember a whole lot over the next few hours. I do know that my son had a terrible time with breastfeeding, and the nurse suggested sugar water (really!?) In the end it took almost 4 months to get him latching well, but that's another blog for later. Overall we felt content just to be bringing home a healthy baby! I vowed my next birth experience would be better. It took me a good 10 months to completely heal from that episiotomy. I healed externally quite quickly, but for 10 months, when my husband and I would try to be intimate, the pain was excruciating like being stabbed with a knife. No fun at all!
2 years later when I went into labor with my daughter, I was more prepared for a natural birth, I had attended birth classes and read tons of books on natural childbirth. With this pregnancy we went with a new OBGYN who delivered at a different local hospital, and I loved her. At 38 weeks I went to a prenatal visit, and she checked my cervix letting me know I was 6cm dilated and to go ahead and head over to the hospital. I had felt myself laboring off and on for the previous day and a half, but still hadn't expected to be 6cm dilated already with NO PAIN! We proceeded to the hospital and by the time my doctor arrived about an hour or so later I was 8cm dilated, and still elated to truly be in no pain at all. My doctor wanted to speed things up ( wow, she thought my labor was going slow?! She had just gotten there!), she broke my water and within minutes the contractions were excruciating! Luckily only an hour later I was ready to push and I birthed my beautiful 8lb 9oz daughter with no medications and no episiotomy! I had a slight tear, but healing from this was quick and easy, breastfeeding went well, and we were home the next day.
It was another 2 years later when i gave birth to my second daughter. I used the same OBGYN as I had the last time. This time when we arrived at the hospital was 3cm dilated, but having good contractions approximately every 6-8 minutes. So they had me walk the halls for an hour and rechecked me. I was then 4 cm. They admitted me, started and I.V. and monitored me in the bed for an hour, rechecked me, still 4cm, had me walk the halls for an hour...5cm, confined me to bed, monitored me for an hour...5cm, at this point my doctor had been in to see me twice already and she came in again stating how since this is my third child I just wasn't progressing as really should have birthed her already, so to speed things up she wanted to break my membranes and start me on a pitocin drip. I allowed her to rupture my membranes, but refused the pitocin. I was no longer "allowed" to leave the bed, other than to use the bathroom, and after another two hours passed I was "only" 6cm dilated, but i could feel my contractions getting stronger. My doctor insisted on starting me on pitocin, this was just taking too long for her liking, I was still adamant about not getting pitocin, yet she proceeded to send the nurse for some anyways. Fortunately for me it took the nurse over half an hour to come back and begin hanging the pitocin. When she arrived back in my room I was in obvious transition, my contractions had intensified to the limit and I yelled "don't you DARE hang that pitocin", she decided to check me, I was fully dilated and able to birth my beautiful 8lb 8oz daughter in only 3 pushes. I tore enough to need 2 stitches, but i still healed incredibly fast from that and was completely pain free (down there) after only a few weeks. After only a brief moment on my chest, the nurse took my daughter to the incubator to "warm" her and perform her initial assessment, as I watched from the bed yearning to hold her. At that point I was getting stitched up and they wanted to take her to the nursery to clean her up, I insisted her father go with her, not to let her out of his sight. When she was back in my arms an hour later she nursed well for the first time, and continued to be a great nurser even after we brought her home the next day. She was a cherub, and I was so happy and content and knew she'd be my last child. 6 weeks later I had a tubal ligation, a year after that I was a single mom of 3 children.
Fast forward 3 years to a new (year old) relationship with a great man who had just asked me to marry him. We had talked about having a child, and decided to save up to have me go for a tubal reversal. 6 months after we were married I flew to Louisville, Kentucky and had my tubal ligation reversal. A short 4 months later I was pregnant with my 4th child. I knew from the beginning that I wanted my birth with this child to be better than the last one. I wanted to feel in control of myself, and not be bound to a bed, continuously monitored and told what I could and could not do with my own body. I talked to my husband about the option of a home birth and to my surprise he was very receptive to it. I did a couple of phone interviews with some local midwives, and was talking to a great friend about my desired to birth at home. She had already delivered 2 children at home and was due to deliver her 3rd at home as well early the next year, with a midwife she had used with her previous child's birth. She gave me her midwives name and number, and told me she thought I would like her, but to meet her and decide that for myself. Well my friend knows me well and I immediately felt a sense of peace with this midwife. She sounded safe, competent and was very friendly. She answered all of my questions, gave me a packet and explained her services. Our first visit lasted over an hour, she even did an ultrasound right then and there at my request. We then proceeded to schedule my first official prenatal appointment for 10 weeks ( I was almost 6 weeks at the time).
Every prenatal appointment was an hour long, usually with my older kids happily playing with the toy shelf on the other side of her office. Such a change from the 15 minutes I would get with my previous pregnancies at the OBGYN ! I was a bit nervous though about when to call my midwife to come to the house, I was only familiar with delivering at a hospital. But when the day finally came (3 weeks early, actually) I woke up early in the morning with very frequent contractions, they were coming every 4-6 minutes, but were not painful. I went ahead and called my midwife just to let her know what was going on. She said to call her if my contractions remained consistent and became stronger, but that she would go ahead and bring down the labor pool since I wanted to deliver in the water. A couple hours later she showed up with the pool and we got it set up and ready to be filled. My contractions had pretty much teetered out at that point but my midwife thought we would be having our baby that day for sure, so to just call her when things picked up again. I continued to have contractions throughout the day, and I enjoyed spending the day with my family. My 3 children were there, my mother, and her best friend (my second mom), and of course, my wonderful husband was there as well. We had dinner, and talked and laughed, I walked around the block once or twice. Around 6pm I called my midwife to come back down, I thought my contractions were becoming more intense and consistent enough to bring the baby soon. She arrived and I asked her to check my cervix. I was about 5cm, her assistant arrived shortly after and I continued to labor with my contractions intensifying. My children watched and waited in anticipation. We had something on the TV to distract as I breathed through my contractions. Slowly, the contractions became less painful, and also spread further apart till I was only having one pain free contraction every 20 minutes. My midwife checked fetal heart tones, and my cervix as well at my request (still only 5-6 cm) so she decided to head back home so that I could go to bed and get some rest. She encouraged me to sleep, i needed it! And to call her when things picked up again, and her and the assistant left. I awoke at 12:10 with strong contractions. When I awoke iIcould hear my mom and her friend quietly chatting upstairs. I woke up my husband and asked him to fill the labor pool, I knew I'd be needing it soon. I decided to call my midwife and let her know that my contractions were stronger once again, but that I wanted to labor in the pool for about an hour, and then I'd call her with an update. The kids were all sleeping, and we decided not to wake them in case my contractions subsided once again. While I waited for the pool to fill I sat and talked with my mom and her friend, and had a few sips of my moms Cabernet. The pool was ready by 12:35am and I got in, almost immediately my contractions were full blown transition contractions. I felt the surges through my body and had to moan to tolerate them. I was almost unaware of the things going on around me as I focused in on my body. Between contractions I said to whoever was listening, "you'd better call Jes back, she needs to come NOW!" My moms friend was quickly on the phone, at 12:45am, and my midwife said she'd be here in 15 minutes. With the next contraction I felt the pop of my water breaking and with that, out glided my daughters head, I had been kneeling over the edge of the pool, it was naturally the position most comfortable for me. I stated, "my water just broke...her head is out". I told my husband to come catch his baby. He kneeled behind me , seeing his daughters face for the first time. It took another few contractions for her body to adjust and turn to fit through the birth canal. (I'm quite positive had I been in the hospital they would have diagnosed shoulder distocia and would have been performing some intense super pubic pressure moves to try to force her out). But my contractions and my own body were successful in birthing my 3rd beautiful daughter at 12:52am. I held her closely on my chest and we covered her with a towel to help her stay warm as I held her close. I had not expected to birth her without my midwife so after hearing her little cry, and ensuring she was breathing, we just sat and waited, enjoying her first moments of life together. My older kids were all standing around at this point, sleepy smiles on their faces as they met their new little sister. When my midwife arrived a few minutes later I continued to hold my daughter while I birthed the afterbirth. My eldest daughter saw the placenta and said "do you have to put that back in there?" So after a quick science class showing and explaining about the placenta my kids, (and me!) were able to feel the umbilical cord pulsating the nutrient rich blood bolus into my daughter. We wrapped up the placenta, and towels around me and the baby and went to the sofa for little Fiorellas first assessment, performed in my arms. She nursed there on the sofa, and it wasn't till an hour later that her cord had stopped pulsating and my son had the big responsibility of cutting the cord. he was so careful and proud, and at that time my mom ran me a bath and I had the rest of the family in the living room weighing and measuring Ella and doing a more thorough assessment, she weighed in at 8lbs 7oz. It was great to hear my family in the next room as I bathed and cleaned myself up. When I came out my daughters were helping to clean up the baby and helping to get her dressed. By 4am my midwife had everything all cleaned up and left us tucked into bed. She would be back the following morning to check in on us, and again came to the house on my 3rd day postpartum.
Having a home birth was hands down the best decision I could have made for this birth. All of the reasons I had wanted to birth at home, to be able to eat if I was hungry, to be able to drink if I was thirsty, to have all my family comfortably at home helping to bring this new child into the world, to not be bound to a bed and continuously monitored by machines, to not have her cord immediately cut and clamped and to not have my child taken away to the nursery while I eagerly awaited to be with them. All of these things I received, and much much more! I had not even considered how wonderful it was going to be to immediately be able to sleep in my own bed, how awesome it was knowing that I was capable to birth my baby at home, the place I felt safest and away from strangers. I also did not realize what an important person my midwife would become to me, they do more than just "track your pregnancy" and "catch your baby" they are so involved that they become like a family member, so gentle in care, and are there not to tell you what to do, but to guide you in your own capabilities.
If anyone reading this is considering the option of a home birth, but is scared away by the media, or by what the doctors say of its dangers. I encourage you to do your own research! I highly recommend a few videos: Born the USA, The Business of Being Born, and More Business of Being Born. From my personal experience, I would NEVER go back to a hospital birth unless something came up in my pregnancy that truly warranted it. Low risk pregnancies are just as safe, if not safer birthed at home where mom feels safe and empowered! I am happily awaiting my second home birth of my 4th daughter, due this February. Keep your eye out for her birth story!
Here are a few photos from my home birth:
I was 20 years old when I gave birth to my son at a local hospital with a local OBGYN, from the very beginning of my pregnancy I knew I wanted an all natural childbirth and went to the hospital birth plan in hand, with every intention of a natural birth. My first disappointment came when I called my doctor as he had advised me to, (when my contractions were consistently less than 10 minutes apart for more than an hour, to see if it was time to head to the hospital), and I found out that my doctor was off that night and there was another doctor I had never met who was on call. She advised me to get myself to the hospital as I sounded as if I was in active labor. When they checked me at the hospital I was 3-4cm dilated, they admitted me and after a few hours with "little progression" (I was then ~5cm) they ruptured my membranes to "speed things along" my contractions became quite intense and I was in a great amount of pain. My nurse frequently offered me an epidural or some kid of pain medication even though I was adamant not to take anything. They checked me hourly and for the next 6 hours I only dilated to 6cm. Every hour or less I was offered something to help with the pain...I finally gave in and they gave me a dose of Stadol. Immediately I felt drunk and fell asleep, exhausted, between contractions. The contractions were still painful enough to wake me out of my drunken stupor, but as soon as the contraction ended I was out again. It only took 2 more hours for me to become fully dilated. The Stadol definitely relaxed me enough to allow my body to dilate; but had I not been refrained to the bed, and allowed to move about freely, maybe get into the tub (which they absolutely refused after your water had broken), or just been encouraged and guided to relax rather than encouraged drugs, my body would have done what it needed to as well. They called the doctor in at that time and she told me to push with the next contraction, I pushed one time, and waited for the next contraction at which time she proceeded to give me an episiotomy and my son quickly glided out with the second push. I remember being thrilled to have found out I had given birth to a beautiful baby boy, something I had been waiting 9 months to find out! He was 7lbs 6oz. But other than that, its all a bit fuzzy, my mind was still flooded with Stadol and I don't remember a whole lot over the next few hours. I do know that my son had a terrible time with breastfeeding, and the nurse suggested sugar water (really!?) In the end it took almost 4 months to get him latching well, but that's another blog for later. Overall we felt content just to be bringing home a healthy baby! I vowed my next birth experience would be better. It took me a good 10 months to completely heal from that episiotomy. I healed externally quite quickly, but for 10 months, when my husband and I would try to be intimate, the pain was excruciating like being stabbed with a knife. No fun at all!
2 years later when I went into labor with my daughter, I was more prepared for a natural birth, I had attended birth classes and read tons of books on natural childbirth. With this pregnancy we went with a new OBGYN who delivered at a different local hospital, and I loved her. At 38 weeks I went to a prenatal visit, and she checked my cervix letting me know I was 6cm dilated and to go ahead and head over to the hospital. I had felt myself laboring off and on for the previous day and a half, but still hadn't expected to be 6cm dilated already with NO PAIN! We proceeded to the hospital and by the time my doctor arrived about an hour or so later I was 8cm dilated, and still elated to truly be in no pain at all. My doctor wanted to speed things up ( wow, she thought my labor was going slow?! She had just gotten there!), she broke my water and within minutes the contractions were excruciating! Luckily only an hour later I was ready to push and I birthed my beautiful 8lb 9oz daughter with no medications and no episiotomy! I had a slight tear, but healing from this was quick and easy, breastfeeding went well, and we were home the next day.
It was another 2 years later when i gave birth to my second daughter. I used the same OBGYN as I had the last time. This time when we arrived at the hospital was 3cm dilated, but having good contractions approximately every 6-8 minutes. So they had me walk the halls for an hour and rechecked me. I was then 4 cm. They admitted me, started and I.V. and monitored me in the bed for an hour, rechecked me, still 4cm, had me walk the halls for an hour...5cm, confined me to bed, monitored me for an hour...5cm, at this point my doctor had been in to see me twice already and she came in again stating how since this is my third child I just wasn't progressing as really should have birthed her already, so to speed things up she wanted to break my membranes and start me on a pitocin drip. I allowed her to rupture my membranes, but refused the pitocin. I was no longer "allowed" to leave the bed, other than to use the bathroom, and after another two hours passed I was "only" 6cm dilated, but i could feel my contractions getting stronger. My doctor insisted on starting me on pitocin, this was just taking too long for her liking, I was still adamant about not getting pitocin, yet she proceeded to send the nurse for some anyways. Fortunately for me it took the nurse over half an hour to come back and begin hanging the pitocin. When she arrived back in my room I was in obvious transition, my contractions had intensified to the limit and I yelled "don't you DARE hang that pitocin", she decided to check me, I was fully dilated and able to birth my beautiful 8lb 8oz daughter in only 3 pushes. I tore enough to need 2 stitches, but i still healed incredibly fast from that and was completely pain free (down there) after only a few weeks. After only a brief moment on my chest, the nurse took my daughter to the incubator to "warm" her and perform her initial assessment, as I watched from the bed yearning to hold her. At that point I was getting stitched up and they wanted to take her to the nursery to clean her up, I insisted her father go with her, not to let her out of his sight. When she was back in my arms an hour later she nursed well for the first time, and continued to be a great nurser even after we brought her home the next day. She was a cherub, and I was so happy and content and knew she'd be my last child. 6 weeks later I had a tubal ligation, a year after that I was a single mom of 3 children.
Fast forward 3 years to a new (year old) relationship with a great man who had just asked me to marry him. We had talked about having a child, and decided to save up to have me go for a tubal reversal. 6 months after we were married I flew to Louisville, Kentucky and had my tubal ligation reversal. A short 4 months later I was pregnant with my 4th child. I knew from the beginning that I wanted my birth with this child to be better than the last one. I wanted to feel in control of myself, and not be bound to a bed, continuously monitored and told what I could and could not do with my own body. I talked to my husband about the option of a home birth and to my surprise he was very receptive to it. I did a couple of phone interviews with some local midwives, and was talking to a great friend about my desired to birth at home. She had already delivered 2 children at home and was due to deliver her 3rd at home as well early the next year, with a midwife she had used with her previous child's birth. She gave me her midwives name and number, and told me she thought I would like her, but to meet her and decide that for myself. Well my friend knows me well and I immediately felt a sense of peace with this midwife. She sounded safe, competent and was very friendly. She answered all of my questions, gave me a packet and explained her services. Our first visit lasted over an hour, she even did an ultrasound right then and there at my request. We then proceeded to schedule my first official prenatal appointment for 10 weeks ( I was almost 6 weeks at the time).
Every prenatal appointment was an hour long, usually with my older kids happily playing with the toy shelf on the other side of her office. Such a change from the 15 minutes I would get with my previous pregnancies at the OBGYN ! I was a bit nervous though about when to call my midwife to come to the house, I was only familiar with delivering at a hospital. But when the day finally came (3 weeks early, actually) I woke up early in the morning with very frequent contractions, they were coming every 4-6 minutes, but were not painful. I went ahead and called my midwife just to let her know what was going on. She said to call her if my contractions remained consistent and became stronger, but that she would go ahead and bring down the labor pool since I wanted to deliver in the water. A couple hours later she showed up with the pool and we got it set up and ready to be filled. My contractions had pretty much teetered out at that point but my midwife thought we would be having our baby that day for sure, so to just call her when things picked up again. I continued to have contractions throughout the day, and I enjoyed spending the day with my family. My 3 children were there, my mother, and her best friend (my second mom), and of course, my wonderful husband was there as well. We had dinner, and talked and laughed, I walked around the block once or twice. Around 6pm I called my midwife to come back down, I thought my contractions were becoming more intense and consistent enough to bring the baby soon. She arrived and I asked her to check my cervix. I was about 5cm, her assistant arrived shortly after and I continued to labor with my contractions intensifying. My children watched and waited in anticipation. We had something on the TV to distract as I breathed through my contractions. Slowly, the contractions became less painful, and also spread further apart till I was only having one pain free contraction every 20 minutes. My midwife checked fetal heart tones, and my cervix as well at my request (still only 5-6 cm) so she decided to head back home so that I could go to bed and get some rest. She encouraged me to sleep, i needed it! And to call her when things picked up again, and her and the assistant left. I awoke at 12:10 with strong contractions. When I awoke iIcould hear my mom and her friend quietly chatting upstairs. I woke up my husband and asked him to fill the labor pool, I knew I'd be needing it soon. I decided to call my midwife and let her know that my contractions were stronger once again, but that I wanted to labor in the pool for about an hour, and then I'd call her with an update. The kids were all sleeping, and we decided not to wake them in case my contractions subsided once again. While I waited for the pool to fill I sat and talked with my mom and her friend, and had a few sips of my moms Cabernet. The pool was ready by 12:35am and I got in, almost immediately my contractions were full blown transition contractions. I felt the surges through my body and had to moan to tolerate them. I was almost unaware of the things going on around me as I focused in on my body. Between contractions I said to whoever was listening, "you'd better call Jes back, she needs to come NOW!" My moms friend was quickly on the phone, at 12:45am, and my midwife said she'd be here in 15 minutes. With the next contraction I felt the pop of my water breaking and with that, out glided my daughters head, I had been kneeling over the edge of the pool, it was naturally the position most comfortable for me. I stated, "my water just broke...her head is out". I told my husband to come catch his baby. He kneeled behind me , seeing his daughters face for the first time. It took another few contractions for her body to adjust and turn to fit through the birth canal. (I'm quite positive had I been in the hospital they would have diagnosed shoulder distocia and would have been performing some intense super pubic pressure moves to try to force her out). But my contractions and my own body were successful in birthing my 3rd beautiful daughter at 12:52am. I held her closely on my chest and we covered her with a towel to help her stay warm as I held her close. I had not expected to birth her without my midwife so after hearing her little cry, and ensuring she was breathing, we just sat and waited, enjoying her first moments of life together. My older kids were all standing around at this point, sleepy smiles on their faces as they met their new little sister. When my midwife arrived a few minutes later I continued to hold my daughter while I birthed the afterbirth. My eldest daughter saw the placenta and said "do you have to put that back in there?" So after a quick science class showing and explaining about the placenta my kids, (and me!) were able to feel the umbilical cord pulsating the nutrient rich blood bolus into my daughter. We wrapped up the placenta, and towels around me and the baby and went to the sofa for little Fiorellas first assessment, performed in my arms. She nursed there on the sofa, and it wasn't till an hour later that her cord had stopped pulsating and my son had the big responsibility of cutting the cord. he was so careful and proud, and at that time my mom ran me a bath and I had the rest of the family in the living room weighing and measuring Ella and doing a more thorough assessment, she weighed in at 8lbs 7oz. It was great to hear my family in the next room as I bathed and cleaned myself up. When I came out my daughters were helping to clean up the baby and helping to get her dressed. By 4am my midwife had everything all cleaned up and left us tucked into bed. She would be back the following morning to check in on us, and again came to the house on my 3rd day postpartum.
Having a home birth was hands down the best decision I could have made for this birth. All of the reasons I had wanted to birth at home, to be able to eat if I was hungry, to be able to drink if I was thirsty, to have all my family comfortably at home helping to bring this new child into the world, to not be bound to a bed and continuously monitored by machines, to not have her cord immediately cut and clamped and to not have my child taken away to the nursery while I eagerly awaited to be with them. All of these things I received, and much much more! I had not even considered how wonderful it was going to be to immediately be able to sleep in my own bed, how awesome it was knowing that I was capable to birth my baby at home, the place I felt safest and away from strangers. I also did not realize what an important person my midwife would become to me, they do more than just "track your pregnancy" and "catch your baby" they are so involved that they become like a family member, so gentle in care, and are there not to tell you what to do, but to guide you in your own capabilities.
If anyone reading this is considering the option of a home birth, but is scared away by the media, or by what the doctors say of its dangers. I encourage you to do your own research! I highly recommend a few videos: Born the USA, The Business of Being Born, and More Business of Being Born. From my personal experience, I would NEVER go back to a hospital birth unless something came up in my pregnancy that truly warranted it. Low risk pregnancies are just as safe, if not safer birthed at home where mom feels safe and empowered! I am happily awaiting my second home birth of my 4th daughter, due this February. Keep your eye out for her birth story!
Here are a few photos from my home birth:
No comments:
Post a Comment